In the journey of marital bliss, laughter serves as a trusty compass, guiding couples through the maze of life’s challenges and surprises. “Laugh Your Way To A Stronger Marriage: 170 Humorous Marriage Tips To Keep The Sparks Flying” embarks on a humorous exploration of marriage, providing couples with nuggets of wisdom to keep the connection alive and brimming with laughter. Dive in, and discover how a hearty chuckle can transform ordinary moments into memorable adventures.
30 Humorous Marriage Advice for Newlyweds
1. “Always hold hands… especially when you’re arguing.”
This piece of advice is funny because of the irony, but it’s genuinely heartfelt. The physical connection of holding hands can serve as a reminder of the bond and love you share, even during heated disagreements. While it’s natural for couples to have differences and arguments, it’s essential to remain connected and united. Holding hands can act as a simple, yet powerful gesture that says, “Even though we’re not on the same page right now, I still love and value you.”
2. “If at first, you don’t succeed… try doing it the way your spouse told you.”
A lighthearted jab at the age-old idea that spouses often think they know best. However, behind the humor lies a nugget of truth. Communication and compromise are crucial in a marriage. Sometimes, admitting that your spouse’s way might be better (or at least giving it a shot) can prevent a minor disagreement from becoming a major dispute. It’s also a testament to the importance of listening to each other. After all, two heads are better than one, even if one is certain their way of loading the dishwasher is the most efficient!
3. “Your wedding was a day, but your marriage is a lifetime. However, the cake can last for a week if you hide it well.”
This humorous wedding quote plays on the emphasis many put on the wedding day, overlooking the lifelong commitment that follows. While it’s a momentous occasion, the real work starts after the “I dos”. And as for that delicious wedding cake? Well, sneaking some away for yourself might just be the best marriage advice you didn’t know you needed!
4. “Marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they won’t eat all of yours.”
Differing cereal choices might just be the funny advice for newlyweds you didn’t know you needed! In the grand scheme of things, it’s the little quirks and habits that make living together a joyous (and sometimes challenging) adventure. While some funny quotes about marriage focus on the big issues, sometimes the smallest pieces of advice for newlyweds—like protecting your breakfast—are the most memorable.
5. “The key to a successful marriage is a sense of humor and selective hearing.”
Funny marriage advice often holds a grain of truth. Keeping the mood light and knowing when to pick your battles (or when to conveniently not hear the complaint about leaving the wet towel on the bed) can make for a smoother marital journey. Selective hearing might just be the humorous wedding advice the groom (or bride) could use from time to time!
6. “Remember the three C’s of marriage: Communication, Compromise, and… where should we order takeout from tonight, Chinese or Caribbean?”
Decisions, decisions! Some of the best marriage advice revolves around the first two C’s, but introducing a lighthearted third reminds us of the everyday choices couples navigate. Whether it’s profound life decisions or simply choosing dinner, every choice is an opportunity to work together. Plus, this funny advice for the bride and groom serves as a delightful prelude to countless takeout nights ahead.
7. “Love is sweet, but it’s the sprinkles of humor that make it truly delectable.”
Just as a cake is enhanced with sprinkles, a marriage is enriched with laughter. This funny quote about marriage highlights the importance of humor in the mix. While love is the foundation, a generous sprinkle of laughter ensures that life remains flavorful, even during the challenging times.
8. “When in doubt, remember why you said ‘I do.’ And if that doesn’t work, remember where you hid the good chocolate.”
This funny advice for newlyweds underscores the importance of recalling the reasons you fell in love. But as every seasoned couple knows, sometimes the best marriage advice also involves having a secret stash of chocolate (or any treat) for those moments when you need a little pick-me-up.
9. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and spade.”
This humorous wedding quote provides a playful take on the evolution of marriage. While the journey begins with love (hearts) and a ring (diamond), it’s inevitable that couples will face challenges. Though framed in jest, it emphasizes the importance of humor in navigating the ups and downs of married life.
10. “A happy marriage is about three things: memories of togetherness, the promise to never give up on each other, and the pledge to always blame the pet when something breaks.”
While the first two sentiments reflect genuine advice for newlyweds, the twist at the end brings a dose of humor. Because sometimes, the best way to diffuse tension is to have a convenient, furry scapegoat! After all, humorous wedding quotes like these remind us not to sweat the small stuff.
11. “The couple that laughs together, lasts together. So, invest in a good joke book.”
Among the top pieces of funny wedding advice, this one highlights the power of shared laughter in strengthening the bond between couples. After all, shared moments of hilarity can be the glue that holds partners together during challenging times. Maybe a joke book isn’t the typical wedding gift, but it might just be the gift that keeps on giving!
12. “Arguments about chores? Here’s a funny piece of advice for the bride: Label them ‘DIY Projects’ and watch the groom get to them faster!”
Turning a common household chore into an exciting “DIY Project” might just be the trick! This piece of advice pokes fun at the stereotypical enthusiasm some might have for do-it-yourself tasks. Funny quotes about marriage often spotlight the everyday squabbles and how a shift in perspective (and vocabulary) can make all the difference.
13. “Keep little secrets… like where you stash the premium snacks.”
Best marriage advice often centers around trust and open communication, but there’s no harm in having a playful secret, especially when it comes to your favorite treats. Because let’s be honest, everyone needs their stash of comfort food for those ‘just because’ moments!
14. “Always be yourself. Except during an argument; then try to be a mute version.”
Funny words of wisdom for newlyweds often remind couples that while being authentic is crucial, there are times when silence is golden. Especially during those heated moments when words can unintentionally wound. Sometimes, the most eloquent response is a deep breath and a moment of silence.
15. “Share everything 50/50. Yes, that includes the blame when things go awry.”
Sharing responsibilities and challenges is essential in marriage. This humorous wedding advice reminds couples that when things go sideways (and they sometimes will), it’s better to stand united rather than pointing fingers. After all, teamwork makes the dream work, even if the “dream” was just assembling that tricky piece of furniture.
16. “Two words that will help ensure peace: ‘You’re right.’ Use them generously, especially when you know they aren’t.”
Ah, the magic words every spouse loves to hear. Sometimes, admitting “defeat” in a light-hearted disagreement can be the best course of action for marital harmony. This funny advice for the groom (and bride!) is all about choosing your battles and sprinkling in some humor for good measure.
17. “Being married is like having a built-in best friend to annoy for life. Make the most of it!”
The fun part of marriage? Having someone you can tease and prank without reservations. This funny quote about marriage is a gentle reminder that amidst all the responsibilities and challenges, never forget to have fun with your partner.
18. “Remember: Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener. So keep a good stock of eye drops!”
Entering marriage with rose-colored glasses is common, but the real journey has its share of surprises. This humorous marriage advice quips about the revelations and adjustments that come with married life. But, with patience, love, and perhaps some metaphorical ‘eye drops’, clarity and understanding can be achieved.
19. “Marriage is a relationship where one is always right, and the other is… the husband.”
This classic funny advice for the bride offers a cheeky nod to the age-old joke about marital dynamics. While it’s all in good fun, it’s also a subtle reminder of the importance of compromise and understanding in a partnership.
20. “The secret to a lasting marriage? A sense of humor and a bad memory!”
Every couple has their share of ups and downs. This humorous wedding quote emphasizes the importance of not sweating the small stuff and letting go of minor annoyances. After all, laughing off the inconsequential things and forgetting petty arguments can pave the way for a more harmonious life together.
21. “When asked for your opinion on her new dress, your safest response? ‘Wow!’ (and hope it’s for the right reason).”
One of the funny quotes about marriage that offers a universal truth: sometimes, less is more, especially when you’re treading on potentially slippery terrain. This tip is a lighthearted nod to those moments when it’s best to keep responses general yet positive.
22. “Your love story is unique. So when someone gives you marriage advice, smile, nod, and take it with a grain of salt—or maybe a whole salt shaker.”
Every couple’s journey is distinct, and while well-meaning advice can be helpful, it’s essential to recognize what works best for your own relationship. This humorous piece of advice for newlyweds is a reminder to filter advice and prioritize what feels right for both of you.
23. “Think of your marriage as a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end? A club and a spade might come in handy!”
This funny wedding advice is a classic play on words that jests about the evolving nature of relationships. While the initial stages of marriage might be all romance, there’s no harm in having a few tools up your sleeve to navigate the challenges ahead!
24. “Need space in marriage? Easy solution—get a bigger bed!”
One of the funny words of wisdom for newlyweds that plays on the idea of personal space. While emotional and personal space is vital, sometimes, a bigger bed might be all you need to keep the peace!
25. “Marriage: Where ‘What do you want for dinner?’ becomes the most complex question ever.”
Deciding on meals can be one of the most unexpectedly challenging parts of married life. This humorous marriage advice pokes fun at the daily dilemmas that couples face, reminding them to enjoy these little moments and maybe even keep a takeout menu handy!
26. “Advice for the groom: ‘Happy wife, happy life’ isn’t just a saying; it’s a survival tip!”
A classic piece of funny marriage advice that has stood the test of time. While it’s shared in jest, there’s truth in recognizing the importance of mutual happiness and contentment in marriage.
27. “Remember, in marriage, the remote control should be enjoyed by both. Take turns, or better yet, watch her favorite show without being asked.”
A shared life means shared TV time. This humorous wedding quote highlights the importance of compromise, even in the seemingly small things. After all, a gesture as simple as watching a show together can mean a lot.
28. “Your love story is not a fairytale, and that’s a good thing. After all, real love stories have laughter, messy kitchens, and maybe a few too many inside jokes.”
Romantic tales and movies often paint a picture-perfect image of love. This funny advice for the bride and groom is a reminder that real-life love stories have their quirks, and that’s what makes them special.
29. “In the game of marriage, sometimes you win, sometimes you… learn. There’s no losing.”
This spin on the conventional view of winning and losing is a piece of best marriage advice cloaked in humor. Embracing every experience as a learning opportunity can be the key to a resilient and enduring relationship.
30. “Need a quick relationship boost? A surprise hug from behind works wonders—just ensure it’s your spouse you’re hugging!”
Physical affection can do wonders to lift the mood and strengthen the bond. This humorous tip underscores the importance of surprise gestures of love, with a twist of humor to remind you of the obvious!
30 Funny Marriage Advice for the Bride-to-Be
1. “The wedding dress is just the start. In marriage, you’ll also need a good pair of running shoes (for those ‘I forgot our anniversary’ moments).”
While a bride’s wedding dress is iconic, this funny advice for the bride playfully suggests that other attire, like running shoes, might be handy for those occasional forgetful moments by the groom. A good sense of humor will always come in handy.
2. “Remember, love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener. So always keep some comfy eye masks at your bedside.”
This humorous wedding quote points out the revelations that come after tying the knot. Marriage reveals a lot about a partner, but sometimes, it’s okay to put on an eye mask and take a little break from reality.
3. “The key to a happy marriage? A sense of humor and selective hearing!”
One of the funny quotes about marriage that rings true. While communication is vital, sometimes, it’s beneficial to laugh things off and not hear every little comment under the breath. Balance is key.
4. “Honeymoon tip: Pack a map. Not for the destination, but to find your way back to each other after your first married argument.”
Every couple has disagreements, even on their honeymoon. This humorous marriage advice for newlyweds uses the metaphor of a map to suggest always finding a way back to love and understanding.
5. “Planning the wedding is the easy part. Planning which side of the bed is yours? Now that’s a real challenge.”
Funny wedding advice that throws light on the fun challenges ahead. Picking a side of the bed is a lifelong commitment, so choose wisely!
6. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, it’s all hearts and diamonds. Just make sure he doesn’t play the ‘joker’ card too often!”
A playful twist to a classic saying, reminding the bride-to-be to ensure her partner doesn’t take the joker role too far. It’s all about finding the perfect balance.
7. “Want a sneak peek into married life? Try eating the last cookie and watching his reaction. It’s all in good fun!”
This funny advice for the bride is a playful way to gauge reactions. Sharing is a big part of marriage, especially when it comes to the last cookie.
8. “When assembling wedding gifts, always keep the manuals. They can double as guidance for assembling your new married life!”
While this humorous wedding quote is meant in jest, it speaks to the idea that guidance in marriage, like product manuals, can be found in unexpected places.
9. “Don’t fret the small stuff. If he forgets to put the toilet seat down, remember – it’s a chance to remind him of his vows!”
This light-hearted piece of funny marriage advice suggests using humor in daily challenges to circle back to the deeper commitment both partners have made.
10. “If fairytales have taught us anything, it’s to be wary of apples. In marriage, it might be his forgotten wet towels. Both require a magic touch.”
This humorous marriage advice alludes to fairy tales, suggesting that while marriage might have its “apples” or challenges, a touch of magic (and humor) can make all the difference.
11. “They say a diamond is forever. In marriage, so is his unique way of loading the dishwasher. Pick your battles!”
Marriage reveals quirks in both partners. This funny quote about marriage touches on the inevitable little habits you’ll discover. Embrace them, laugh at them, and remember – everyone has their own ‘correct’ way to load the dishwasher.
12. “When making a joint decision, consider the ‘rock-paper-scissors’ method. It’s fair, fun, and surprisingly effective!”
Decision-making can be tricky in marriage. This piece of funny advice for the bride proposes a light-hearted solution that could add a dash of playfulness to those moments of indecision.
13. “Two become one in marriage, but remember to keep separate blankets. Trust me on this one.”
Marriage is about unity and sharing, but some practicalities like separate blankets can ensure peace, warmth, and no midnight tugs-of-war.
14. “Marriage is the only adventure where GPS directions include ‘take the second exit at the roundabout of emotions and continue straight at the traffic lights of love’.”
This humorous wedding quote whimsically combines marriage and navigation. The journey will have its twists and turns, but love will always show the way.
15. “Your wedding day might have a script, but married life is all about improvisation. Stay ready for the unexpected encores!”
Funny wedding advice reminding the bride that while you can plan a wedding day down to the last detail, marriage is a series of unpredictable, beautiful moments. Adapt, laugh, and enjoy the spontaneous duets.
16. “In the theater of marriage, always be ready for both comedy and drama. Just ensure there are more standing ovations than curtain calls.”
Marriage is full of ups and downs. This funny advice for the bride encourages embracing all the acts and scenes, aiming for more applause than exits.
17. “They say ‘What’s yours is mine’. It’s especially true for closet space. Negotiate wisely!”
A humorous nod to the age-old debate about closet space in marriage. It’s all fun and games until someone’s shoes need a home.
18. “Treat your marriage like a wine tasting. Take a moment to appreciate the little notes and flavors, and always savor the shared moments.”
This funny marriage advice encourages the bride-to-be to enjoy every nuance of her relationship, much like one would savor a fine wine.
19. “In the orchestra of marriage, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, but always stay in tune with each other.”
Harmony is key in any partnership. This piece of advice for newlyweds highlights the importance of syncing up and creating beautiful music together, regardless of who’s leading.
20. “Always have a secret stash of chocolate or treats. It’s not sneaky; it’s strategic planning for those ’emergency’ days.”
Everyone has those days where a little pick-me-up is necessary. This humorous wedding quote is a fun nod to the importance of self-care in marriage.
21. “Remember, a happy marriage is about finding the right balance – especially when it comes to the remote control.”
The battle for the TV remote is real! This funny advice for the bride underscores the importance of compromise, whether it’s about movie night choices or bigger life decisions.
22. “Every now and then, let him believe he’s the boss. It’s the best marriage advice to ensure peace… and also to get that dress you’ve been eyeing!”
Sometimes, letting go and letting them feel in control can pave the way for a little shopping spree. It’s all about strategic yielding, right?
23. “They say opposites attract. So, if you’re organized and he’s messy, congratulations! You’ve got a lifetime cleaner-upper role.”
This humorous wedding quote celebrates the yin and yang of relationships. While differences can be challenging, they can also lead to many laughs if approached with a sense of humor.
24. “When in doubt, remember the three magic words that can melt any tension: ‘You’re right, dear’.”
Even if it’s just said in jest, these words can bring a smile to his face and diffuse potential disagreements. Funny wedding advice that’s also quite strategic!
25. “Never underestimate the power of a surprise pizza delivery. It’s both romantic and a solution to the ‘What’s for dinner?’ dilemma.”
Ordering a surprise treat can be as romantic as a bouquet of roses. Plus, it answers one of the most frequently asked questions in marriage!
26. “On your wedding day, you’ll wear white. But in marriage, always be ready to wear multiple hats – chef, therapist, detective, and magician, to name a few!”
This piece of advice for newlyweds highlights the versatile roles one plays in a marriage, all delivered with a pinch of humor.
27. “They say a picture speaks a thousand words. In marriage, a well-timed eye-roll can too!”
Non-verbal communication can be powerful (and hilarious). This funny advice for the bride emphasizes the playful side of marital interactions.
28. “Treasure maps are great, but a map to the nearest ice cream parlor? Now, that’s a marital asset!”
The small joys, like a shared love for ice cream, can bring so much happiness. This humorous wedding quote is a sweet reminder of the simple pleasures in married life.
29. “Love notes are wonderful. But ‘I’ve done the dishes’ notes? They’re next level romance!”
Acts of service can be as romantic as words of affirmation. This funny marriage advice celebrates those everyday gestures that make a big difference.
30. “Your wedding ring is a symbol of eternal love and also a great pointer when directing him towards the laundry basket!”
This light-hearted advice encapsulates the dual significance of a wedding ring – as a symbol of commitment and as a playful tool in daily marital interactions.
30 Funny Marriage Tips for the Groom
1. “Remember, ‘I don’t know’ is not an acceptable answer when she asks, ‘What are you thinking?'”
It’s a classic scenario that many couples find themselves in. While “I don’t know” might be the truth, getting creative with your answers can lead to more interesting conversations. The best marriage advice? Be ready to share, even if it’s just about that sandwich you had for lunch.
2. “When she says she has ‘nothing to wear,’ understand it’s code for ‘I need new clothes.'”
Decoding the mysteries of “nothing to wear” can save many a puzzled conversation. This funny wedding advice is a crash course in understanding that her wardrobe is a universe of its own, always ready for new stars (or dresses).
3. “Your two best friends in marriage will be ‘Yes, dear’ and ‘I’m sorry.’ Use them generously.”
These magic words can often ease tensions and bring smiles. They’re not just funny words of wisdom for newlyweds; they’re lifelines for many marital moments when you’re in a tight spot.
4. “If you ever want to know what she truly feels, observe her when she’s shopping. It’s like a window to her soul.”
From the joy of finding the perfect dress to the frustration of not finding the right shoes, shopping can be an emotional roller-coaster. It’s humorous wedding advice, but also a genuine tip: understanding her shopping moods can give you insights into her feelings.
5. “Becoming a mind reader isn’t in the marriage package, but sometimes, it sure feels like it should be!”
While it might seem like she expects you to read her mind, remember it’s all about understanding and communicating. This funny marriage advice is a light-hearted way to remind you that being attentive can often feel like mind reading.
6. “Flowers are great, but surprising her with her favorite chocolate? That’s advanced relationship tactics right there.”
It’s often the small gestures that make a big impact. While flowers are a classic, knowing her favorite treat and surprising her with it shows you pay attention to her likes and dislikes.
7. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.”
This humorous quote about marriage playfully reminds you that marriage has its ups and downs. The key is to approach every phase with humor and resilience.
8. “If she’s ever mad, just hand her a cup of her favorite coffee and slowly back away. Sometimes, it’s the safest strategy.”
There’s wisdom in knowing when to approach a situation and when to give it some space. This funny advice for the groom is a humorous reminder that sometimes a small gesture can create the breathing room you both need.
9. “Remember, in marital disputes, the one who apologizes first is the bravest, not the weakest.”
Saying sorry can be seen as a strength, not a sign of defeat. This piece of advice for newlyweds is both funny and deeply wise, emphasizing the importance of humility in marriage.
10. “When she says, ‘It’s too quiet,’ she’s not commenting on the ambiance. It’s a hint for you to break the silence, even if it’s just to chat about the weather.”
Understanding her cues is part of the marital journey. This humorous wedding quote serves as a light-hearted nudge to always be ready for a chat, even if it’s about the most mundane things.
11. “Your tool kit is essential, but remember, the most crucial tool in marriage is patience.”
While fixing things around the house is commendable, fixing misunderstandings requires a different set of tools. Patience, understanding, and a good sense of humor are vital in navigating the beautiful journey of marriage.
12. “Always have a surprise date idea up your sleeve; it’s the marital version of a trump card.”
There’s something incredibly endearing about spontaneous plans. This funny marriage advice is a reminder that, amidst the routine of married life, an occasional surprise date can reignite the romantic sparks.
13. “If you ever find yourself in trouble, just remember: making her laugh is the shortcut to forgiveness.”
Humor has a magical way of mending fences. Even if you’ve made a blunder, a genuine attempt to make her smile might just be your saving grace. Funny words of wisdom for newlyweds, but incredibly effective!
14. “Learning her favorite song and singing it, even off-key, can earn you more brownie points than a fancy gift.”
Sometimes, it’s not about how much you spend, but how much heart you put into a gesture. Even if you can’t carry a tune, your efforts might just become a cherished memory.
15. “Remember, you’re not just marrying her; you’re also saying ‘I do’ to her favorite TV shows and movies. Embrace the binge-watching!”
Shared interests create lasting bonds. Even if it means sitting through her favorite romantic comedy for the tenth
16. “Dancing skills are not a prerequisite for marriage, but being willing to dance like nobody’s watching? That’s golden.”
Marriage is all about being genuine and unguarded. This funny advice for the groom emphasizes that letting go of inhibitions and dancing, even if it’s just silly moves, can bring joy to both of you.
17. “The secret to a happy marriage? Two words: Selective hearing.”
This humorous wedding quote is a playful nod to the occasional need to tune out the minor annoyances and focus on the love and connection you share.
18. “A shared dessert can be romantic, but having two desserts? That’s relationship bliss.”
Why share when you can both indulge? It’s funny marriage advice that speaks to the heart (and the stomach) of many relationships.
19. “Never underestimate the power of a ‘just because’ note left for her. It’s like a relationship booster shot.”
Little gestures can have a profound impact. Leaving her unexpected notes is a simple, yet potent way of reminding her of your love and affection.
20. “If you think you’re the boss in the relationship, remember it’s probably because she let you think so.”
A playful nod to the dynamics of many relationships. It’s a funny quote about marriage that emphasizes the mutual respect and understanding needed in any partnership.
21. “When all else fails, remember the three magical words: ‘You’re right, dear.'”
Agreeing can sometimes be the path of least resistance. This piece of advice for newlyweds, delivered with humor, underscores the importance of choosing your battles wisely.
22. “Invest in a good pair of earplugs; they’re invaluable for those times she discovers a new musical or movie she loves.”
Music and movie tastes might differ, but that doesn’t mean you can’t coexist harmoniously. Earplugs, in this humorous context, symbolize the little sacrifices and adaptations one makes in marriage to let the other person indulge in their passions without interruption.
23. “When in doubt, flowers. Always flowers. They’re the universal ‘I’m thinking of you’ or ‘I messed up’ gesture.”
Flowers have an uncanny ability to express a multitude of emotions without words. This funny marriage advice playfully suggests that flowers can be a go-to solution for anything from a sweet romantic gesture to a peace offering after a misunderstanding.
24. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you might be looking for a club and a spade.”
This humorous wedding quote highlights the evolving nature of marriage, where the initial romance might give way to moments of wanting some space. Yet, it’s all in good fun, reminding grooms that the journey will have its ups and downs, but it’s worth every moment.
25. “If she says she’s not hungry, order food anyway. You’ll thank yourself later when she’s picking fries off your plate.”
It’s a scenario many couples can relate to: one person says they aren’t hungry but inevitably ends up sampling the other’s meal. This funny advice for the groom brings a smile while subtly emphasizing the idea of always being considerate and anticipating each other’s needs.
26. “Never argue about chores; just hire a cleaner. It’s cheaper than marriage counseling.”
Household chores can surprisingly be a significant source of contention for some couples. This humorous piece of advice cheekily suggests that sometimes it’s easier to outsource the cleaning than delve into a debate about who should do the dishes.
27. “Always remember, she’s always right. And even when she’s wrong, she’s right in a way you haven’t figured out yet.”
This is a funny quote about marriage that many married men might chuckle in agreement with. The underlying message is about understanding, patience, and sometimes accepting that peace is more important than proving a point.
28. “Her ‘five minutes’ is different from your ‘five minutes’. Learn to interpret it, and you’ll master one of marriage’s mysteries.”
Time perception can differ widely between individuals. This playful advice underscores the differences that make each partner unique and the humorous adjustments that come with understanding those differences.
29. “Your DIY skills will be tested, not by the actual task but by her watching and giving ‘helpful’ suggestions.”
Many men can relate to the challenges of handling a DIY task under the watchful eyes of their partners. This funny advice for the groom is a nod to the collaborative nature of marriage, where two people, with their unique perspectives, come together to build a life.
30. “Remember, in marriage, there’s no ‘we’ in ‘pizza’. Sometimes, you just have to order two!”
Compromise is vital in marriage, but so is individual indulgence. This humorous wedding quote reminds grooms that it’s perfectly okay to indulge in personal favorites and enjoy moments of individual pleasure.
30 Humorous Tips for Married Couples
1. “Learn the art of the compromise: the TV remote is a shared entity.” In every home, there’s the subtle dance of deciding who controls the TV remote. This light-hearted tip nods to the ongoing negotiations and mutual concessions that make cohabitation harmonious.
2. “Designate a ‘no-talk zone’ for the first 10 minutes after arriving home.” Everyone needs a moment to decompress after a long day. This humorous advice not only highlights the importance of personal space but also the understanding that sometimes silence is golden.
3. “You’re not mind-readers; sometimes, a hint is just not enough.” While it would be wonderful if spouses could telepathically communicate, this piece of funny advice underscores the value of clear communication. After all, hints can be missed, but direct conversations rarely are.
4. “If you want to be right all the time, have conversations with yourself.” This jesting tip points to the inevitable reality that disagreements happen in marriages. It’s a reminder that it’s okay to concede sometimes and that being right isn’t always the priority.
5. “Become a DIY expert. If not, become an expert in calling experts.” Whether it’s fixing a leaky tap or assembling furniture, every household has its challenges. This tip humorously encourages either mastering the art of DIY or having a reliable expert on speed dial.
6. “When in doubt, order pizza.” Food can be a remedy for many situations, and sometimes the simplest meals are the best. This light-hearted advice celebrates the joys of impromptu pizza nights and the harmony they bring.
7. “Have a weekly ‘state of the union’ over pancakes.” This jesting piece of advice encourages regular check-ins, sweetened by the allure of pancakes. It’s a way to ensure open communication while making it a delicious ritual.
8. “Date nights shouldn’t stop. Even if it’s just in the living room.” Keeping the spark alive means continuing to date, even after saying “I do”. This tip playfully suggests that romance can happen anywhere, even in the comfort of your own home.
9. “It’s not about ‘winning’ the argument. It’s about winning the peace.” Married life is filled with debates and disagreements. This humorous tip reminds couples that it’s not about emerging as the victor in a debate but ensuring the relationship remains harmonious.
10. “Shared chores can be fun. Race each other to finish and winner picks movie night.” Turning mundane tasks into playful competitions can make them more enjoyable. This tip encourages couples to add a little fun and friendly rivalry to their daily routines.
11. “If you buy a new decor piece, make sure it comes with a good hiding spot.” Every now and then, we make purchases our partners might not immediately appreciate. This tip cheekily nods to those impulse buys and the light-hearted subterfuge that sometimes follows.
12. “Learn each other’s coffee orders by heart; it’s more important than your anniversary date.” Mornings can be a crucial time for many couples, and nothing says “I love you” like a perfectly brewed coffee. This humorous advice emphasizes the little gestures that can mean so much in daily life.
13. “Agree to disagree on the ‘right’ way to load a dishwasher.” Household chores can surprisingly lead to heated debates. This light-hearted suggestion is a reminder that sometimes there isn’t a ‘right’ way, just ‘your’ way and ‘my’ way.
14. “Toilet paper: over or under? Just be thankful it’s there!” The age-old debate of how to hang the toilet paper roll. This piece of funny advice draws attention to the smaller battles in life and how they’re often not worth the energy.
15. “When asked ‘what’s for dinner?’, the correct answer is always ‘whatever you’d like, dear’.” A playful nod to the perennial question of meal planning. It emphasizes the importance of flexibility, adaptability, and the occasional dash to the local takeaway.
16. “Start a hobby together, like synchronized snoring.” Marriage has its shared quirks. This jesting tip encourages couples to embrace the little things, even if they come in the form of simultaneous, rhythmic snores.
17. “Laugh about your in-laws, just never in front of them!” In-laws can be a point of contention in many marriages. This humorous piece of advice is a reminder to always maintain respect, even while enjoying a private chuckle.
18. “Have a code word for ‘let’s leave this party’. Just make sure it’s not ‘pineapple’.” Every couple needs a discreet exit strategy from social events now and then. This advice playfully reminds couples to have one ready, and perhaps to pick something a little less conspicuous.
19. “Mismatched socks? Blame the laundry gnome.” There are certain unsolvable mysteries in every household. This lighthearted advice offers a humorous solution to the perennial problem of disappearing socks.
20. “Adopt a plant before getting a pet. If it survives a month, reconsider the pet.” Navigating responsibilities can be a learning curve in marriages. This jesting tip suggests starting small, with a plant, before diving into the deeper waters of pet ownership.
21. “If you can’t decide on a movie, just rewatch the one where you first ‘shushed’ each other.” Recalling the moments when you shared quiet laughter during a film can be nostalgic. This tip is a humorous nudge towards celebrating the small, shared memories that often get overlooked but can be the foundation of connection.
22. “Beware the three dangerous words in marriage: ‘While you’re up…’.” It’s a familiar refrain in many households, leading to chuckles or groans. It’s a fun way of saying, “Help each other out, but maybe not EVERY time.”
23. “Two can play the ‘silent treatment’ game, but remember, it’s much more fun to chat over ice cream.” While the silent treatment can be a couple’s playful jest, this tip gently reminds that open communication (especially over something as delightful as ice cream) is always the better route.
24. “Forget roses. A full dishwasher that’s been run and emptied is the most romantic gesture.” Acts of service, like doing the dishes, can be love in action. This humorous tip serves as a reminder that romance isn’t just grand gestures; it’s found in the daily acts of care.
25. “Socks left on the floor are just a cry for foot freedom. Respect the rebellion!” While mismatched socks have their own saga, socks on the floor can be a playful bone of contention. This jesting advice encourages seeing the lighter side of such trivial household misadventures.
26. “When all else fails, order pizza. It’s the universal peace treaty.” Pizza has a magical way of smoothing over disagreements. This humorous advice reaffirms that sometimes, a simple shared meal can mend fences.
27. “Create a fake competition like ‘Who makes the bed best?’ Winner gets breakfast in bed!” Infusing fun competitions into the mundane tasks can make them enjoyable. This funny tip suggests gamifying household chores for mutual benefit.
28. “Your partner’s snoring is just a lullaby in disguise. Wear earplugs if you’re not a fan of the tune.” Snoring: the unsung ballad of countless bedrooms. This playful advice encourages a different perspective on nighttime symphonies, with a pragmatic solution for the less appreciative.
29. “Whenever in doubt, play rock-paper-scissors. It’s a valid decision-making tool!” Decisions can be challenging. This light-hearted tip offers a time-tested game as a way to make choices with a dash of fun and randomness.
30. “Always keep spare chocolate hidden for emergency disagreements. It’s the sweet path to reconciliation.” Chocolate, like pizza, has its own magic. This humorous gem underlines the idea that sometimes, the path to a happy resolution can be delightfully sweet.
30 Humorous words of wisdom for newly weds
1. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, and later you might want to find a club and a spade.” The honeymoon phase is dazzling, but like a game of cards, the dynamics evolve. It’s a light-hearted way of saying marriage will have its challenges, but with a sense of humor, you’ll navigate them together.
2. “The secret to a happy marriage? Still trying to figure out the WiFi password to that one.” In the digital age, the metaphorical WiFi password symbolizes the constantly evolving code to marital bliss. Every marriage has its unique connectivity issues, but with patience, you’ll always find a signal.
3. “They say never go to bed angry. So if you have to, just stay up and eat ice cream!” Anger might keep you awake, but ice cream sweetens those nocturnal debates. This playful advice reminds couples that sometimes you just need to cool down, literally and figuratively.
4. “A happy wife means a happy life, and vice versa. Mostly because you’ll both know where the chocolate stash is.” Chocolate, the sweet treat, becomes the symbol of shared secrets and delightful indulgences. This humorous tip encourages mutual pampering and the joy of little shared moments.
5. “The couple that laughs at a dropped wedding cake together, stays together.” Life will throw you unexpected twists, like a toppled wedding cake. Finding humor in the unpredictable keeps the spirits high and the bond strong.
6. “Remember, love is blind. But the neighbors aren’t, so maybe close those blinds!” A cheeky reminder that while love sees no faults, privacy is still golden. This funny tidbit promotes the importance of shared moments… and perhaps investing in some good curtains.
7. “Two become one in marriage. That includes the remote control.” Ah, the age-old debate over the TV remote! Sharing means compromising, even when it’s about deciding between a romantic comedy or an action thriller.
8. “In marriage, you’re both captains. Just maybe of different boats on occasion.” While unity is vital, individuality shouldn’t drown in the sea of marriage. It’s a humorous nod to maintaining personal space while sailing together.
9. “Remember, your wedding day lasted 24 hours. But your attempt to fit into that wedding suit or dress? That’s eternal.” The wedding day is a snapshot in time, but the memories and attempts to relive those moments (like fitting into wedding attire) bring chuckles and shared efforts in the long run.
10. “A successful marriage isn’t about finding the right partner. It’s about clicking with the ‘Skip Ad’ button at the same time on YouTube.” In the digital era, synchronization extends to our online habits. This jesting advice highlights the modern-day version of being in tune with your partner.
11. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry… to eat the last slice of pizza.” True love celebrates shared indulgences, even if it’s a playful tussle over the last pizza slice. A light-hearted way of emphasizing the joys and quirks of shared moments.
12. “Weddings are like the beginning of a roller coaster ride. Thrilling, full of anticipation, and screaming is expected at some point.” Marriage, like a roller coaster, has its ups and downs. This humorous comparison suggests holding on tight and enjoying the exhilarating ride together.
13. “Always remember: Love conquers all. Except for slow WiFi. That’s a real test.” A modern twist on an old saying, pointing out that today’s couples have unique challenges. Slow WiFi can test patience, but love, understanding, and maybe a good router can conquer it.
14. “The foundation of marriage? It’s less about love poems and more about syncing your Netflix watchlists.” While love poems are romantic, the modern-day romance often lies in shared watchlists. A cheeky nod to the importance of common interests in today’s times.
15. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then wonder together why life keeps leaving lemons on your doorstep.” Life’s challenges, symbolized by lemons, are easier when faced with humor and togetherness. This quirky advice promotes teamwork and shared resilience, with a splash of laughter.
16. “Marriage is like a roller coaster: sometimes thrilling, sometimes terrifying, but always worth the ride.” Committing to someone means embracing both the highs and lows. So, hold onto each other tight and scream together—it’s half the fun!
17. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” This funny take suggests that love, though essential, might sometimes confuse more than clarify. As a couple, you’ll encounter many questions, and together, you’ll find those amusing answers.
18. “A balanced marriage is just two people continually asking each other what they want for dinner until one of them breaks.” The age-old “What’s for dinner?” question can become a light-hearted marital standoff. Amidst life’s complexities, sometimes the toughest decisions revolve around the dinner menu.
19. “Behind every successful newlywed couple is a trail of discarded takeout boxes.” While you’re both figuring out life together, there’s no harm in leaning on convenient food choices. Embrace the early days, takeout menus and all, for they’re the building blocks of your shared story.
20. “Marriage teaches you loyalty, patience, understanding… and how to put up with snoring.” Among all the deep virtues marriage instills, there’s also the amusing reality of shared nights. True love is appreciating the rhythm of your partner’s snoring and maybe investing in some earplugs.
21. “Always give 100% in your marriage: 50% in making sure you understand, and 50% in making sure you’re understood.” This humorous spin emphasizes effective communication. It’s a playful way of saying, “Listen as much as you speak,” wrapped up in a maths joke.
22. “Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other person is… the husband.” A jesting nod to age-old humorous marital dynamics. Remember, it’s all in good fun; effective compromise is the real key!
23. “The best way to remember anniversaries? Forget it once!” Nothing teaches a lesson faster than forgetting an important date. But remember, the real wisdom lies in celebrating the love more than the dates on the calendar.
24. “A wise newlywed knows the value of compromise. Especially when deciding which TV series to binge-watch together.” This modern-age advice speaks to finding balance in shared entertainment choices. Sometimes, love is letting them pick the TV show—well, at least every other time.
25. “To keep your marriage brimming with love, whenever you’re wrong, admit it. Whenever you’re right, just enjoy some ice cream.” It’s a lighthearted way of saying, “Choose your battles.” Sometimes, peace tastes even sweeter than being right, especially when ice cream’s involved.
26. “Always remember: Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. So pace yourselves, enjoy the scenery, and maybe stop for some food trucks along the way.” Life’s a long journey; take the time to savor the shared experiences. This playful tip emphasizes the joys of the shared journey, with a side of delicious detours.
27. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-closed afterward.” This humorous quote suggests the importance of understanding each other’s quirks before tying the knot and then taking them lightly as you move forward. It’s about embracing the imperfections with love.
28. “The three main ingredients in a successful marriage: love, trust, and a shared Netflix password.” In today’s digital age, sharing is caring, even if it’s just streaming service passwords. This jest emphasizes the blend of traditional values with modern bonding rituals.
29. “Happiness is… finding the one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Marriage means finding that special someone who you can tease, joke with, and yes, occasionally annoy. It’s the playful side of eternal commitment.
30. “Love is grand; divorce is at least 10 grand. Save money, stay humorous!” A cheeky reminder of the hefty price of taking things too seriously. Infusing humor in your journey can be the best insurance against hefty emotional and financial costs.
20 Humorous Marriage Tips for Empty Nesters
All the kids have left the nest? This is for couples who have recently seen their children move out and are rediscovering their relationship in a new light.
1. Rediscover Date Nights: Remember when you dreamt of romantic dinners without kids asking for ketchup? Well, dream no more! Convert their old room into a bistro for two, complete with fairy lights and a table for teddy bears because, let’s face it, old habits die hard.
2. Start a New Hobby: Why not synchronized kazoo playing? Not only will it provide hours of laughter, but it’s also a fun way to irritate your now-absent kids over video calls. They’ll regret ever teaching you about technology!
3. Travel to Places Kids Hated: Those educational museums they found boring? Now’s the perfect time to enjoy them without the constant whining. Take slow, leisurely walks, take ALL the time reading plaques, and then taunt your kids with detailed descriptions over dinner.
4. Become Tech-Savvy: Dazzle your kids by randomly using internet slang. “Our new plant is so lit, it’s giving us major FOMO vibes!” Watch their faces twist in confusion as they wonder if you’ve discovered a secret online life.
5. Host Non-Kid-Friendly Events: An elegant soirée with a “no sneakers” policy sounds delightful. Revel in the joy of hosting dinners without the fear of spaghetti being flung across the room.
6. Reinvent Your Living Space: Turn the kid’s room into a gaming den. Remember that video game they never let you play because you were “bad” at it? It’s time for sweet revenge!
7. Relive Your Younger Days: Rewatch your favorite old TV shows and try out those 80s aerobics tapes collecting dust. Neon leotards and headbands? Absolutely essential.
8. Embark on Culinary Adventures: Experiment with bizarre recipes. Ever thought of pickled ice cream? No? Well, now’s the time to make culinary history!
9. Create a Mystery Adventure: Each of you plans a secret outing. The catch? The other person has to guess the destination based on cryptic clues. Bonus points if they guess it’s a llama farm when it’s actually a knitting class!
10. Engage in Playful Banter: Channel your inner comedian. With no kids to roll their eyes at your jokes, the world is your comedy stage! And if you both end up laughing at how bad the joke was, even better!
11. Join a Dance Class: You’ve seen those classic dance movies; now it’s your time to shine. But wait, add a twist. Maybe, during a waltz, suddenly break into a “robot dance.” This isn’t just about bonding; it’s also about leaving a legacy… of infectious laughter.
12. Prank the Kids: They say what goes around, comes around. It’s time for a payback for those sleepless nights. Send them on a wild goose chase around the house for an “invisible treasure.” Oh, the lengths they’ll go to, all for that priceless look on their faces.
13. Husband Housework Day: Ladies, pick a day of the month and label it “Husband Housework Day.” Now, gents, don’t panic! This is not a trap, just a humorous way to redistribute house chores. And who knows? There might be a “Wife Mows the Lawn Day” in the future.
14. Food Fight Fridays: Yes, you read that right. Choose a Friday, and after dinner, have a small food fight in the kitchen. It’s a mess, but it’s also therapeutic. Just remember to pick foods that are easy to clean!
15. Theme Nights: Plan a week where each night is a different theme. From “Backward Clothes Night” to “Fake Accent Dinner,” the possibilities are endless. Besides, who wouldn’t want to hear their partner attempt a Scottish accent while wearing their shirt inside out?
16. Mystery Tasks: Write down funny and silly tasks on paper, put them in a jar, and take turns drawing. Tasks could range from “sing everything you say for the next hour” to “act like a T-Rex until bedtime.” It’s about spontaneity and embracing the unpredictable.
17. Karaoke Duets: Pick a song neither of you knows the lyrics to, and attempt a karaoke duet. The butchered lyrics and off-tune notes will make it a performance to remember!
18. Recreate Your First Date: But with a twist! Maybe this time, you both wear pajamas to the “restaurant” (your dining room) or reenact the date as if you were elderly.
19. Fashion Show Disaster: Dive into each other’s wardrobes and choose the most ridiculous outfits for one another. Then strut your stuff down the hallway catwalk. Remember, it’s not about looking good; it’s about laughing hard.
10. DIY Comedy Night: Each of you prepares a short “stand-up” routine about married life. It might be cheesy, it might be cringeworthy, but it’s guaranteed to be hilarious.
11. Reenact Movie Scenes: Pick some iconic (or hilariously obscure) movie scenes and reenact them. Bonus points if you don’t have the props and have to improvise.
12. No-Hands Challenge: Try feeding each other dessert, but here’s the twist: neither of you can use your hands. Messy? Yes. Fun? Absolutely.
13. Board Games with Bets: Play board games but make silly bets. “If I win, you have to moonwalk every time you leave a room tomorrow.” The sillier the bet, the more memorable the game.
14. Synchronized Morning Routine: Try to synchronize your morning routines, from brushing teeth together to synchronizing your toast popping. The key is to not break into fits of giggles.
15. Treasure Hunts: Set up a treasure hunt around the house with ludicrously funny clues. “Where socks vanish and shirts shrink, the next clue you’ll find, or so you think.”
16. Midnight Picnic: Set up a picnic in your living room at midnight. Why? Because it’s unexpected, and sometimes the best memories come from the most spontaneous moments.
17. Pillow Fort Movie Night: Remember building pillow forts as a kid? Bring back the nostalgia, but this time, watch a hilariously bad movie inside your fort.
18. Backward Day: Do everything backward for a day. Dinner for breakfast, breakfast for dinner, and maybe even walk backward. It’s a silly twist on routine.
19. Dance in the Rain: The next time it rains, instead of cozying up indoors, head out and have a dance. Let loose, get wet, and embrace the childlike joy.
20. Speak Gibberish: Choose a day where you only communicate in gibberish to each other. It’s all about interpretation and enjoying the absurdity of life together.
Closing
Marriage, much like a grand theater, offers a myriad of scenes, some comedic, others poignant. But, as our compendium of humorous marriage tips showcases, infusing humor into your shared narrative makes the journey memorable. So, as you walk hand-in-hand into each new chapter, remember to pack a pinch of wit, a dash of laughter, and oodles of love. Here’s to countless giggles and a love story filled with zest!
